It was just a piece of junk. What was I suppose to do with this rubbish? All it did productively was sit in the garage and collect rust and dust. That is how I felt about that little red toy car. It brought back good memories but attached were sharp thorns that took away the bright colors. This all had to do with the accident. The moment the car collided with my wife and daughter. It completely changed everything.
The house was a silent as the wind blowing through the desert. As empty as a black hole sucking up empty matter in space. How can so much pain be brought upon one person? Never would I have imagined this to happen to me. Never had I told my daughter I love her. Rarely, had I told my wife I cherish her.
I would sit fixated on the couch thinking back to the distinct laughter of my sweet little girl with blonde curls chasing my wife outside near the apple tree. The twisted memory was just too much. It overwhelmed me and I had to quit my job. The motivation to drive around delivering mail to others was just too much to handle. I felt as if my purpose in life had just ceased to exist.
That was all before Chuck came along. I was out gardening when my old friend asked how a man could gain so much weight in just a year and that I looked like a beached whale. This was far from the truth since I had always been tall and thin but even more so since food was something I forced myself to do. I gave him a nod and said, “So what brings you over here Chuck. I thought you were living in Texas.” He simply replied, “Well things just didn’t work out down there but I was in the area and thought I would just give you a helping hand with whatever you needed for the day.”
This was the first person who had truly made an effort to help since the accident. I wasn’t even sure if he knew. At that moment, I felt some weight be released from my shoulders. I replied, “Well, I’m working on digging a ditch for irrigation that I could probably use some help with.”
That is how it started. Chuck continued to help me with projects and with moving on. He helped me get through the sorrow by frequently lending a helping hand and by his supportive demeanor.
I will never be able to completely leave that past behind but I am back to work and able to find motivation in living everyday. I see the color again. By letting go of the hurt, I was able to move forward.
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